Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Nobody's got the gun

Nobody's got the gun
Nobody's trying to get the drop on anyone
Nobody's standing out on main street
With the sun blazing down
Saying "There's only room for one of us
In this here town"
Nobody's got to be the number one
Nobody's got to be the number one
Nobody's got the gun
Nobody's got the gun

She may not understand
And she may want you eating from her hand
If she's got you in a corner
And you can smell the smoke and flame
You reach for your revolver
To do the same
You'll blow your love away forever, Number One
You'll blow your love away forever, Number One
Nobody's got the gun
Nobody's got the gun

You may think love is hard enough
You may never get to rehearse
And you can do without this stuff
Making everything worse

She's just the same as you
She needs your love just like you want her too
You can't go playing poker
With a pistol up your sleeve
You can't make somebody love you
By threatening to leave
If you want to love forever, Number One
If you want to love forever, Number One
Nobody's got the gun.
Nobody's got the gun.

Nobody's got the gun, Mark Knopfler



Do I have to explain it?

We often feel threatened in a relationship. Under attack. We start to feel smothered; our personal autonomy is in danger. We feel cornered and then we reach for our best weapons, we charge blindly… against the person who loves us best. We think that we are in a Wild West shootdown, in which only one can come out alive. But, in fact, the last thing we want is to kill our beloved.

Every fight leaves its scars. The grudges of old wounds keep piling up with the years, and so we end up in an odd relationship, a mixture of love and resentment. If we knew the price that we pay for each fight, we’ll avoid them like the plague.

I often remembered, just in time, that sentence, so simple and so wise: “You can't make somebody love you by threatening to leave”. Threats and ultimatums are just destructive. The only thing worthwhile is to talk. Giving in a little, not turning everything into a power struggle. If you want love, you have to give love.




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