How to recognize abuse in BDSM relationships

One of the key issues in BDSM has always been how to distinguish a healthy BDSM relationship from one based on abuse and exploitation. To do that, an agreement was reached back in the 80s based on the three criteria of “safe, sane and consensual” (SSC). This means that there should be no serious physical injuries (safe), there should be no emotional manipulation (sane), and that everything that happens should have the consent of the participants (consensual). Later come other formulations, like “risk-aware consensual kink” (RACK), but in my opinion they lack the simplicity and directness of SSC.

There are also techniques that ensure that a BDSM scene is SSC. Negotiation consists of a discussion of the things that will happen in a BDSM scene, done as equals and with a spirit of honesty, respect and open communication. During the negotiation some limits are established: things that the bottom partner does not want to do or to endure. Often, limits are divided between hard limits, which are never to be crossed, and soft limits, things the bottom may accept in some circumstances or in future play. For example, sexual intercourse can be a hard or a soft limit. Importantly, SSC means that consent can be withdrawn at any time during a BDSM scene. The bottom may simply say “no” or “stop” but, since these may be uttered in the screams in a scene, a safeword is used instead. This is a word agreed during negotiation which is used by the bottom to stop the kinky play in an unambiguous way. A lot of people and BDSM organizations use “red”  as a safeword, sometimes using “yellow” to ask for the intensity of the scene to be decreased without stopping the action altogether, like in a traffic light. The safeword complements the limits by providing a way to stop something unexpected or that causes unbearable feelings. Some BDSMers do not like to use a safeword because they have other ways of communicating when there is a problem. Other objections to the use of a safeword are that the bottom may be in a state of mind in which it is impossible to say it, or that it can be an excuse for the Top not to check on the bottom. Evidently, a safeword is meant to be used as a safety device in addition to all other precautions that can be taken to ensure that the play is SSC.

BDSM can be practiced in some extreme forms and still be SSC. In full-time or 24/7 BDSM there are no scenes, the Dominant and the submissive are in-role all the time in their relationship. This means that there are rules that the submissive has to follow all the time or else be punished, and that the Dominant can always demand obedience and servitude. For some people in this type of relationship, Dominant and submissive are not roles that they play but it is who they are. Another extreme form of BDSM is “consensual non-consent”, which varies from pretending that the Top is doing something that the bottom does not accept, to accepting being ordered, hit or used sexually by the Top at his or her whim. I mention these extreme forms of BDSM to point out that they are not abusive, as long as they have been previously negotiated and mutually accepted without any form of coercion. In particular, everybody should be able to leave the relationship or to re-negotiate its terms.

Despite all this, it is unfortunately true that BDSM lends itself to facilitate and hide abuse. First, there are some myths in BDSM culture that undermine SSC and promote exploitation. Here are a few examples of these myths: that dominance and submission are valuable by themselves; that a “true submissive” must obey the Dominant unquestionably; that limits are meant to be overcome, or that a BDSM relationship must progress to 24/7 or consensual non-consent. Second, the lack of acceptance of BDSM makes it difficult for victims to denounce abuse, because that would entail to come out as practicing BDSM and therefore risking being victimized again by society. Conversely, some people are intent to label healthy BDSM relationships as abusive for ideological reasons, ranging from social conservatism to some puritanical forms of feminism. Because of this, I think it is crucial to discuss the different ways in which BDSM can be used as a pretext for abuse, emotional control and exploitation. I am not going to talk about rape or physical sexual abuse, which are hideous but easily identifiable, but about more devious forms of abuse based on psychological manipulation and the subversion of common BDSM practices. Of course, emotional abuse can happen in both BDSM and vanilla relationships, and it is not more common in kink.

I have tried to use gender-neutral language as much as possible; otherwise, I alternate between genders. Although is statistically more frequent that the abuser is male and the victim is female, abuse can occur in all kinds of gender combinations. Also, I alternate between referring to Dominant and submissives (which implies a Dominance/submission or DS relationship) and Tops and bottom (implying a sadomasochist or SM relationship). There are peculiarities to different gender combinations (for example, femdom, gay BDSM, lesbian BDSM, etc.), and to DS and SM relationships, but it would be too complicated to discuss them here.

Here is a list of ways in which abuse may occur in BDSM relationships.

1.      Jealousy and possessiveness are often at the core of abuse. A lot of violence in couples, even murder, is motivated by jealousy. Dominance-submission forms a perfect cover for possessive relationships because it normalizes control by one partner and surrender by the other. Hence, the difference between a healthy and an abusive relationship can be hard to tell for people outside of it. One clue could be found in how the dominant reacts to the social environment of the submissive. Continuous suspicion and using dominance as an excuse for exaggerated control over most aspects of life should be other warning signs. For example, demanding access to your cell phone is a sign of unwarranted control and intrusion in your privacy. In the specific context of BDSM, an abuser will seek to bypass SSC and subvert BDSM practices to achieve emotional control. This is the common characteristic of the next points.  

2.      Not respecting limits. An abusive Top may consider limits as a personal challenge and set to work to undermine them. This is often rationalized as the need for the submissive to “grow” in order to experience BDSM more deeply. In reality, the abuser sees your limits as an impediment to the absolute control he wants to exercise over you. He will consider overcoming your limits as a personal success.

3.      Objecting to a safeword. Abusers often take advantage of the controversy around safewords (mentioned above) to discourage the bottom from using them. Another common strategy is to agree to use a safeword but making it clear that the submissive will be punished for using it. The punishment may consist in stopping the scene and refusing to go back to it, a measure that is unnecessary unless the bottom asks for it. The Top may also become unkind, passive-aggressive or outright angry. In extreme cases, she may berate or reject the submissive. 

4.      Adopting extreme forms of BDSM. To maximize their control, abusers may try to quickly escalate relationships to 24/7 or consensual non-consent. This is rationalized as the myth that these type of relationships are the truest form of BDSM, or that they are somehow more desirable because they would make the submissive happier or more prestigious in the BDSM community. The reality is quite different: 24/7 and consensual non-consent are relatively uncommon and are reached after a couple has gone through a long evolution in their practice. They are never assumed casually. Another difference is that 24/7 is most often practiced by monogamous couples that are deeply committed to each other, whereas an abuser may try to impose 24/7 on multiple partners simultaneously, creating what is called a “stable” of submissives. Of course, polyamory is very common in BDSM, what is uncommon is 24/7 relationships with multiple partners. An honest 24/7 relationship is very demanding for the Dominant, who has to continuously interact with the submissive so that she gets something in exchange for her surrender. An abuser, however, will neglect the submissive once he has obtained the control and exclusivity that he desires.

5.      Secrets. An abuser may demand that you keep complete secrecy of what happens between you and him, perhaps with the excuse of protecting your privacy or under the fear that your BDSM relationship would not be understood by your family and friends. That deprives you of seeking advice and contrasting what he does with what other people do. Of course, it is reasonable to ask that some intimate things remain private, but excessive secrecy should be a warning sign.

6.      Exaggerations and lies. Abusers are not usually honest people, they surround themselves by a thick net of exaggerations, half-truths and outright lies. That serves to hide who they really are and to inflate their ego. He will make you believe that he is an attractive man, that many women are after him, that you are very lucky in that he has chosen you, and that you will lose big time if he leaves you. Narcissism and low self-esteem are often at the root of the need for control that drives manipulative behavior.

7.      Encouraging lying and other bad behavior. Eventually, the abuser will try to make you an accomplice of his lies. It is very easy to progress from asking you to keep a secret to making you lie to protect that secret. The abuser may also enlist your cooperation in abusing other people. This would make you feel special, that you have progressed to his inner circle, unlike all those submissive losers that crave his attention. If this creates feelings of guilt and shame in you, they will only serve to encourage you to accept the abuser’s rationalizations. This way, your own bad behavior will cause you to become more entrapped in the abuser’s web of lies and self-aggrandizement.

8.      Blaming and shaming. The worst abuser is the one who most adeptly uses psychological manipulation methods to control you. Guilt and shame are very powerful emotions that can be used for emotional control. A common tactic is for the abuser to cast himself as the victim, especially if you are trying to leave him. She may tell you how much you have hurt her feelings and how cruel you are for doing so. If you apologize, as most people would do, this would only serve to start a dynamic in which you continually have to atone for your fault. You find yourself constantly on the defensive. Your behavior is always questioned, but never his. Of course, all of this may happen in vanilla relationships, but in BDSM there is the added element that you are supposed to be submissive, to give yourself completely to the Dom. Submission becomes an obligation, something that defines your value as a person, instead of being a choice that you make for your own reasons.

9.      Drug abuse. It is a widely held belief in the BDSM community that drug use should be avoided in a BDSM scene. Personally, I make an exception for the use of cannabis by my bottom when I have been playing with her for many years, because this enhances her experience. Still, I believe that the Top should refrain from consuming drugs and alcohol before or during a scene, because he needs a clear mind to ensure safety and consent. A submissive that is inebriated or high on drugs may be unable to give consent and process pain sensations and strong emotions. This is particularly true for opioids and stimulant drugs like cocaine and amphetamines. Needless to say, inducing a submissive to take drugs would be an easy way for an abuser to gain complete control over her by decreasing her critical ability and weakening her will.

10.  Attacks to other people. "If you want to know how your boyfriend will treat you, see how he treats his mother," says popular wisdom. You may find that your new Dom is prone to road rage, starting flame wars on the internet and other violent behavior. That should be a clue of how he is going to behave with you once the relationship settles down. The infliction of pain and the giving of orders in BDSM should be done without anger. The Dom should be in a state of self-control all the time. Otherwise, a scene can slip into a physical abuse before you realize what is happening.

11.  Social isolation is a technique widely used by religious sects. They convince you that your family and friends are bad for you, that they are to blame for all the problems you had before. A jealous dominant may use the same method by ordering you to break up with your friends and then surround you with his own friends, people who are loyal enough to him to support his lies and gaslighting. Integrating into the social environment of the abuser deprives you of the referent of people who can advise you, putting you in a situation of psychological vulnerability. Sophisticated abusers interact with people who think and act like them, cultivating collective beliefs that justify the abuse.

12.  Taking control of your life: money, work, housing, etc. It could be a great temptation to go live with your Dom, let him support you financially or use his connections to get you a nice job. Especially if the Dom is wealthy your financial situation is not so great. You may have fantasized about finding your own Christian Grey, a powerful alpha male who will completely envelop you with his amazing power, providing safety and security forever. After all, isn’t this the common theme of countless romantic novels? However, this can be the biggest mistake of all. Not only this would increase your social isolation, but once your Dom is in control of your finances and living arrangements it may become practically impossible to break up with him. This would require a lot of external help from friends and family but, if he also has managed to destroy your relationship with them, what can you possibly do?

In this era of #MeToo, it has become fashionable to divide people between abusers and victims. Abusers are evil people who are irredeemable and should be avoided and ostracized, while victims are blameless souls who should always be believed and protected.  Unfortunately, life is much more complicated. Yes, there are predators out there who are unscrupulous, selfish and full of bad intentions. But far more common are people who are ill-informed, unconsciously possessive, jealous and mindless. And this applies to both dominants and submissives. Just like a Dom may become over-controlling and exploitative, a submissive may rush into a type of relationship that she is not prepared for, be it 24/7, consensual non-consent, a live-in situation or financial dependency. Which is to say, unhealthy BDSM relationships may happen more out of ignorance than malice. It is important to realize that extreme forms of BDSM are incredibly powerful and intoxicating, and can easily lead to psychological dependence by undermining your self-esteem.

It is hard to talk about these things without feeding into the narratives of those who want to condemn BDSM. Also, let me emphasize that 24/7 and consensual non-consent are legitimate forms of BDSM, that they can be practiced safely and enrich the lives of the people who adopt them. They are just things not to rush into, especially when you are young or inexperienced.  My advice is to practice BDSM by scenes, returning to your independent, autonomous self in between. Only after doing that for many years you should venture into extreme BDSM. Read a lot about it, integrate yourself in the BDSM community, make lots of friends, get a mentor who is not your Dom, and always stay alert for those who want to use BDSM to exploit and control you.

Spicing up your scene with hot peppers

One of the nicest things about a spanking is the afterglow: the warm feeling in your buns after the job is done; the way they become exquisitely sensitive to the touch of the hand or the rub of the underwear; how it reminds you of your punishment when you are fucked doggie-style and his belly bangs against your bottom as his cock dives deep inside you. Surely, many spankees long for a way to make the afterglow last longer or even to make it more intense.

Well, such a method exist. It is based on the creative use of hot peppers or their active ingredient, a chemical called capsaicin. In this article I am going to tell you more than you ever wanted to know about the science behind the wonderful effects of capsaicin. Then I am going to explain how to use hot peppers to enhance that afterglow feeling to such a level that it may make your spankee regret that you ever read this article.

The science of hot peppers and capsaicin

capsaicin molecule

Ever wondered why hot peppers are hot? Not all spicy food produces this burning sensation: garlic, onions, horseradish and wasabi also elicit a strong, sometimes unpleasant “spicy” sensation, but not of the burning kind. The burning sensation of hot peppers is caused by a single chemical, a molecule called capsaicin. Research started in the 90s unraveled why capsaicin makes you feel like you are burning without being actually burnt. Capsaicin, it turns out, binds to a protein called TRPV1 (transient receptor potential vanilloid 1, if you want to know) that is also activated by high temperatures. TRPV1 is present in a population of C-fibers, the nerves that transmit pain from the skin and other organs to the spinal cord. C-fibers with TRPV1 transmit burning pain, so when capsaicin activates TRPV1 it also feels like burning. Garlic, horseradish and wasabi activates a similar protein called TRPA1, which when activated also elicits pain but not a burning sensation. Yet another protein of the same family, TRPM8, is the receptor for menthol and produces the sensation of cold. That’s why menthol feels cool. Fascinating, isn’t it?

Now let’s go back to BDSM. You are being spanked and every slaps that lands on your bottom feels hot. After the spanking is over your buns stay warm for a while. Why? Does this has anything to do with TRPV1? Yes, it does. The impacts of the spanking cause a bit of damage in the dermis, the bottom layer of the skin, causing its cells to release some of the metabolites stored inside them, like ATP and glutamate. These activate receptors in the C-fibers (the pain nerves) which in turn release two neuropeptides, substance P and CGRP (calcitonin gene-related peptide, if you need to know), which make the capillaries swell with blood. This is why your bottom turns that nice red. It’s a process called inflammation, characterized by three things: pain, swelling and heat. Some of the released chemicals cause a bit of activation TRPV1, which is responsible for the heat component of the inflammation.

Hot peppers burn in your mouth, because mucosa skin is rich in TRPV1, but do not produce much burning in regular skin. However, if the skin is inflamed that’s a different story: the TRPV1 receptors are already primed by the inflammatory soup of chemicals released from the damaged cells, and capsaicin drives them through the roof. So, if you apply capsaicin to a well-spanked bottom, instead of a nice warm afterglow it will start feeling burning hot. Not only that, the skin will become very sensitive to touch, so a simple caress or the rub of underwear will now feel painfully hot. This is something similar to what happens with sunburn, another form of inflammation. The technical term for when the sensation of touch turns to pain is allodynia.

Is capsaicin dangerous?

By now, you are probably thinking: “do I really want to do this to my bottom?” Well, we do regularly eat capsaicin in the form of hot peppers, some people even in fairly large amounts, so if we are not concerned with putting it inside our bodies why should we be concerned with putting it on our skin? Needless to say, capsaicin makes your skin feels as it is burning, but it does not actually burn you. That is, it produces no tissue damage. Capsaicin is also sold over-the-counter as pain medication to treat arthritis, tendinitis and muscle pain. In comes in touch applicators containing a solution of up to 0.15% capsaicin.

The Scoville Scale of spiciness of chili peppers

However, capsaicin has also been weaponized in the form of pepper sprays like Mace, which contain from 0.18% to 3% capsaicin. It acts by producing a blinding inflammation of the eyes, burning in the skin, and coughing and difficulty breathing. In people with asthma, this can be deadly. Therefore, just handling capsaicin in a scene can pose a risk for both the top and the bottom. One thing to keep in mind is that capsaicin is not soluble in water and is very soluble in the fats of the skin, so it is almost impossible to wash away. Soap will not do the trick. It is soluble in alcohol, but you cannot apply alcohol to your eyes and I would not recommend putting it in your genitals. You could use a lotion rich in fat, but do not expect a complete wash-off.

What concerns me more about using capsaicin in the scene is that over time it can actually kill or blunt those C-fibers that contain TRPV1. This may be why capsaicin is used as a pain-killer. The end result could be that you develop an iron-butt: buttocks that can endure a good amount of abuse without much pain. You need to decide if this is something you want.

How to use capsaicin in the scene

You have a choice between using hot peppers or a capsaicin solution that you buy at the pharmacy (0.025% is a good dose if you want to start easy). Capsaicin solutions are easier to handle. Peppers are more natural, sexier and artsy. Personally, I prefer the peppers, so I will give instructions for their use, which can be easily adapted for capsaicin solutions.

What you need: a knife, a cutting board, disposable plastic gloves, cleaning wipes and paper towels. And, of course, chili peppers. I recommend green jalapeños, chile de árbol, or similar. Watch out for Thai peppers or habaneros, they are too hot!

Give the bottom a nice spanking on the bare buttocks. Keep in mind that the intensity of the burning sensation will depend as much on the strength of the spanking as the amount of capsaicin. Since the dose of capsaicin is difficult to adjust, especially if you use hot peppers, it is better to pay attention to the spanking. Which means, keep it light. In your first try don’t go beyond a nice uniform pink color on the butt. A five to ten minute spanking with medium intensity should be enough.

Put on the gloves. Using the knife and the cutting board, cut the peppers lengthwise. Get rid of the seeds, which have the larger amount of capsaicin and tend to get everywhere. Then, using your gloved hands, gently rub the peppers over the pink part of the skin. If you want to do this scientifically, you could use one buttock as the test (it gets the peppers) and the other as the control (no pepper). Be careful not to come close to the anus or the genitals (although the effect of capsaicin there is not as bad as you may expect, in my experience). Wait a couple of minutes, then use the cleaning wipes and paper towels to eliminate the remaining of the pepper juice from the skin. Leave your bottom to roast while you put away everything. Wear gloves throughout the process and wash your hands afterward, for good measure. But remember: anything that touches those buttocks may get capsaicin on it. Capsaicin has a nasty tendency to travel from the butt to your hands, and from there to your eyes.

The results

The bottom will become increasingly hot after five minutes or so. If the treatment is mild (light spanking, low dose of capsaicin), it will feel like an enhanced afterglow. With a strong treatment (hard spanking, lots of capsaicin), it will be definitely painful. The effects can last as long as 24 hours, peaking around 1-2 hours and then gradually decreasing. The worst (or best) part is the sensitivity to touch (allodynia), with some delightfully humiliating consequences. You can make the bottom feels being spanked just by putting a hand on the buns. Sitting may be extremely uncomfortable or impossible. So it will be wearing pants or underwear, a loosely-fitting skirt is advisable. All of this will probably turn-on your subject, making her excited and horny. You should plan for a sub-space lasting many hours and take advantage of all the wonderful side effects. For example, fucking her doggy-style will add a jolt of searing pain at the end of every thrust. (I have tried to keep all this gender-neutral; of course, a man can also be fucked doggie-style).

Let me emphasize that this is a one-way journey. Once the capsaicin has been applied, it is futile to try to wash it off. If the effects are too strong to endure, have her lay on her stomach and cool her bottom with a bag of ice. Aloe or other soothing lotion may help, but keep in mind that every time you touch those burning buns to apply it, it is going to hurt. Better to stay with her in the scene and enjoy the ride.

Why choking is not safe

If you are into choking, the bad news is that this is the least safe BDSM activity, it is responsible for the most numbers of death. The good news is that most of those deaths occur when people do it alone. Still, even if you do it as a couple, I strongly advise against it.

Choking, breath play or, more technically, erotic asphyxiation or asphyxiophilia, is used to refer to two very different types of actions. The first involves cutting the air supply to the lungs by choking or blocking the nose and the mouth. The second involves cutting blow flow to the brain, which is usually done by pressing on the carotid arteries. Spoiler alert: the second is much more dangerous than the first.

Choking

Straightforward choking, what we see in movies and TV, consists in pressing the neck to constrict the windpipe (trachea) to keep air from reaching the lungs. The trachea is a very delicate structure made of cartilage, a tissue similar to bone that also makes our joints. This makes the trachea semi-rigid, so applying pressure on it can deform it permanently. Around the trachea are also the vocal cords and the esophagus. Therefore, this form of choking can produce long-term damage affecting breathing, talking and swallowing. It should never be done, unless it is just fake choking not involving any real pressure on the neck and that does not block breathing.

Of course, it is possible to interrupt the breathing of a bottom partner by other means. One popular one consists of sticking a cock deep into her mouth and then pinching the nose. This has the additional advantage of giving pleasure to the cock-owner and eliciting some interesting gagging reactions in the bottom. However, one thing I don’t understand is why in this type of situation the top is not concerned about having his cock bitten. Sure, any well-behaved submissive will never bite the cock that feeds her, but the body will do all kinds of weird stuff in a life-or-death situation. And breathing is our most basic drive. 

OK, so we rule the cock as an instrument of asphyxiation, but there are still many other ways to stop a person from breathing, like putting a pillow or a bag over his nose and mouth. And, yes, this is safer than any of the other possibilities that I am examining. The body as a whole can store a good amount of oxygen. There are three main reservoirs: the air still present in your lungs, the hemoglobin  in red blood cells and myoglobin in the muscles. Myoglobin is a protein similar to hemoglobin that is also able to bind oxygen. Cetaceans (whales and dolphins) have large amounts of myoglobin in their muscles that help them hold their breath for long periods of time. Free-divers learn to take advantage of these three reservoirs by different techniques to hold their breath underwater. I can comfortably free-dive for close to one minute, even while moving a lot. I once held my breath for 4 minutes, out of the water and relaxing. The world record in breath-holding is 22 minutes and 22 seconds, after hyperventilating in pure oxygen. But don’t get any ideas. As I said, this is done by trained people able to slow down their heartbeat and using sophisticated techniques to store as much oxygen in their bodies as possible. Importantly, the “air starving” drive that makes you want to breathe is not triggered by the lack of oxygen in your blood but by an excess of CO2. This can lead to dangerous situations (common in free-diving) in which you don’t feel like you need to breathe but are actually about to lose consciousness because there is not enough oxygen reaching your brain. So, if you want to engage in other types of breath play involving hyperventilating and then holding your breath (as I did as a teenager), you may want to learn a thing or two about the physiology involved.

Because of all this, even if asphyxiated to the point of loss of consciousness, most people will resume breathing and regain consciousness without any major consequences. However, this is only when said loss of consciousness doesn’t last more than a few seconds. Any longer than that and you risk having to perform CPR on a person who is unconscious and does not breathe on his own, as it happens with most drowning victims. After all, the centers that control breathing are themselves in the brain, so if the brain is not working they may stop functioning as well. And if the breath is stopped for several minutes there is a real possibility of brain damage.

Carotid occlusion

The carotid arteries form the main supply of blood to the brain. They run quite superficially on both sides of the neck. Cutting them, as we see in Games of Thrones and other gory TV series, will irreversibly lead to death in a matter of seconds. To stay conscious and alive the brain needs a continuous supply of oxygen and glucose from the blood. Neurons are the most finicky cells of the body: if they don’t get their oxygen they immediately throw a temper tantrum and die. Temper tantrum is quite an appropriate figure of speech because a neuron that is starving for oxygen will begin firing a lot of action potentials and releasing its neurotransmitters. The main excitatory neurotransmitter in the brain is the amino acid glutamate, which is also an abundant metabolite. When a neuron dies all of its glutamate is released into its surrounding medium, activating glutamate receptors in its nearby neurons. Too much activation of these glutamate receptors can kill those neurons, too, setting off a chain reaction that produces a wave of cell death spreading through the brain. This is what produces most of the brain damage during a stroke, which happens when a capillary inside the brain is blocked by a blood clot. So, why doesn’t this “wave of death” eventually kill the whole brain? Because there are cells in the brain (astrocytes, microglia and epithelial cells in the capillaries) that are in charge of preventing damage by absorbing glutamate and other neurotoxic substances. Still, considerable harm can be done before these cells manage to bring the situation under control. And, once neurons die, it is almost impossible to replace them.

What does all this have to do with choking? When you block the carotids to induce loss of consciousness and increase pleasure, you are starving neurons of oxygen and may be killing some of them. Keep in mind that you could have a substantial loss of neurons in your brain and not notice anything, because we are not conscious of most of what goes on in our brain. This happens to victims of concussion, who may suffer considerable brain damage without knowing it. The point is: you don’t know what is actually going on in your brain when you drive it close to unconsciousness, just because it is so much fun! Neurons could be dying while you party.

Let me explain why carotid occlusion is much more dangerous than other forms of asphyxiation. The key fact is that when you hold your breath, or when somebody blocks your breathing, there is a big reservoir of oxygen your body can use to stay alive. However, your brain does not have a similar store of oxygen. When you block the carotids, that’s it, your brain starts to run out of oxygen right away. That’s why people die much faster when their necks are cut than when they are strangled. There may be other complications of carotid occlusion, like cholesterol plaques being released from inside the carotids to cause strokes in the brain. But, even if you think you had a safe experience, there may be brain damage that you did not notice. As it happens with concussions (traumatic brain injury), injuries accumulate over time until all of a sudden the symptoms manifest themselves. And then is too damn late to do anything about it.

Sub Spaces

There is a lot of interest in the BDSM community on the “sub space”, a blissful state that it is said to be achieved through the use of skillful techniques of impact play, or rope play, or perhaps through masterful Dominance and unwavering submission. It is also assumed that sub space is mediated through the release of endorphins. In the past, I have pointed out that some of these beliefs are supported more by myths than by actual scientific evidence. Still, it is undeniable that bottoms and submissives achieve some remarkable altered states of consciousness, often followed by negative emotional states called “sub drop”. I would like to propose here that there is not just one sub space but several ones with distinctive, sometimes even opposing, characteristics. It is important to emphasize, however, that there is almost no scientific research done on masochists, and very little on the endorphin high and other altered states of consciousness produced by extreme exercise or pain. Therefore, what I am going to say here is highly speculative. It is based on my knowledge of pain neurophysiology and by drawing parallels between the effects of drugs and observations of the behavior of bottoms and submissives during scenes. I propose that there are at least three different states that can be considered “sub states”. I will point out their similarities with emotional states and with the effects of some drugs.

Adrenergic sub space. The most natural response to pain is the fight/flight response. In it, there is an activation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis that leads to a large release of adrenaline from the adrenal glands into the blood. This increases the heart rate, switches blood circulation from the viscera to the periphery, and promotes muscular activity. At the same time, inside the central nervous system there is a parallel activation of pathways that use noradrenaline as a neurotransmitter. Among them is a pathway that projects from the adrenergic nuclei of the brain stem (locus coeruleus, A5 and A7) to the spinal cord, where it intersects inhibit incoming pain signals in the peripheral nerves producing analgesia. Other noradrenergic projections go to the cerebral cortex, activating it and increasing alertness. In practice, when the bottom goes into this state she screams, struggles, stomps and laughs, while her pain thresholds go up. This sub state is characterized by analgesia, mild euphoria and high interaction with the Top. It is important to note that while the fight/flight response is considered a stress reaction, this is not necessarily bad. Some forms of stress (called ‘eustress’) are healthy and sought by many people in the form of roller-coasters, scary movies and exciting sports. I consider BDSM a form of eustress. A certain amount of eustress may be necessary for good health and can counter the nefarious effects of distress (bad stress). The adrenergic sub space is similar to the effect of stimulant drugs like cocaine and amphetamines, which act by increasing the availability of noradrenaline and dopamine at some key brain areas.

Endorphin sub space. This sub space also produces analgesia, but in almost all other aspects is the opposite of the adrenergic sub space. In it, the heart rate goes down, and activity and alertness decrease. The relevant release of endorphins takes place not into the blood but in some brain areas. The pain inhibition is driven by a pathway connecting the periaqueductal gray area in the middle of the brain with the nucleus raphe in the brain stem and then down to the spinal cord to block incoming pain signals. There are reciprocal inhibitory connections in the brain stem between the nucleus raphe and the noradrenergic nuclei (coeruleus, A5 and A7), so that when the endorphin system gets activated the adrenergic system gets inhibited, and the converse. This is because, while the adrenergic system mediates fight/flight, the endorphin system is related to freezing behavior, in which the animal becomes immobile in order to avoid been detected by a predator. Repeated freezing behavior and certain patterns of endorphin release have been shown to lead to learned helplessness, a dysfunctional state that decreases learning, reduces immune activity and produces several other negative responses. Therefore, endorphin release is far from being the panacea that it is cracked up to be. This is not to say that that endorphin release is bad. However, a when a bottom continuously goes into this state, the long-term effects may not be good. In practice, a bottom in the endorphin sub space becomes dreamy, in an emotional mist, stops screaming and struggling, and is less alert of his surroundings. He will respond to questioning by pleading for the beating to go on - what some people call the “forever place”. The endorphin sub space is similar to the effect of opiate drugs like morphine or heroin because endorphins activate the same receptors as these drugs, the mu and delta opioid receptors. Endorphins also produce the release of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens, which is at the end of what is called “the pleasure pathway” that mediates motivation and is activated by addictive drugs.

Serotonin sub space. This the sub space that is properly-named as such because, while the adrenergic and endorphin sub spaces are produced by pain and other sadomasochistic types of stimulation, this sub space is induced by the Dominance/submission (D/s) interaction even in the absence of pain. Surrender, obedience, service, mind-fucking and other strong intimate interactions with the Dominant  likely lead to the release in the brain of oxytocin and vasopressin, neuropeptides that mediate bonding. The similarity of this state with that produced by the drug MDMA (ecstasy), which also increases bonding, intimacy and affection, makes me suspect that this sub space is predominantly driven by serotonin release in the brain. Serotonin produces positive mood and counters depression. However, it produces mixed effects on pain because some serotonin receptors in the spinal cord increase while other decrease pain. The same goes for dopamine, which can increase or decrease pain depending on the emotional state of the individual.

Whereas the adrenergic and endorphin sub spaces are incompatible, it is quite possible that the serotonin sub space can combine with them to produce mixed effects. It is also clear that the noradrenergic, dopaminergic and serotonergic neurotransmitter systems vary a lot between individuals. That is why it is so difficult to fine-tune antidepressant drugs to each person. Therefore, sub space is going to vary a lot from individual to individual. A flogging technique that is blissful to one bottom may be hellish to another. An accomplished Top is not one who has perfected techniques so that they are going to work with anybody, but one who has learned to accurately read the body language of the bottom and knows how to adjust the scene accordingly.

Let me finish by addressing the issue of sub drop. There are at least two types of sub drop: one that happens right after a scene and another that occurs about two days afterward. The first one is likely the coming down from the fight/flight adrenergic reaction. After a strong activation of the sympathetic system (the one that releases adrenaline into the blood), the parasympathetic system kicks in, decreasing the heart rate and cutting blood circulation to the periphery. The result is that the bottom feels cold, tired and emotionally exhausted. A blanket, lots of cuddles and emotional support are the best solution. The second sub drop is similar to the one produced by MDMA and may be the result of the serotonergic or even the endorphin sub space. It is much harder to address, because the scene is long over and the Top may not be available for emotional support. It may even last several days. The only way to address it is to be ready for it and have some kind of emotional support system (friends, chocolate, a good movie, etc.) in place.

The take-home message is that things in the scene are not as simple as going into sub space and come out of it a happier person. The human brain is something incredibly complicated that we are just beginning to understand. By inflicting lots of pain, or messing with strong emotions like shame, guilt and submission, we are giving our minds some extreme challenges. It is hard to predict what is going to happen. The best course of action is to go slowly, pay a lot of attention to your body, and find the path that is best for you.

Panic attacks in BDSM scenes

Among the many problems that can happen in a scene, panic attacks can be a serious one, especially if the Top doesn’t know how to handle them. They are more common that you may think. Last month, during a talk I gave at Threshold (the BDSM organization of Los Angeles), I asked my audience to raise their hands if they had experienced a panic attack in a scene, either themselves or their play partner. About two thirds of the 45 people present raised their hand.

What does a panic attack look like? It happens more or less like this… The scene seems the be going well and is approaching its peak. Both the Top and the bottom are completely immersed in it. Then the sub stops reacting. She does not moan with each lash, doesn’t move, has closed her eyes and seems lost in her inner world. Then, all of a sudden, she explodes. The panic attack is characterized by an inability to speak - so in this case the safeword is of little use. There is also difficulty to breathe, uncontrolled moves, evasive gaze, crying and rejection of being touched. Inside, the person that experiences the panic attack feels extreme anxiety, terror, tunnel vision and inability to think and express himself. That state can last an undetermined amount of time, from minutes to hours. Returning to the scene is normally impossible and, in any case, not recommended.

What can we do when this happens? The first thing, of course, is to stop the scene. Discontinue immediately any type of painful or stressful stimulus. If there is bondage, it must be released immediately because physical restrain is one of the main triggers of panic attacks. If necessary cut the ropes with scissors or a knife being extremely careful not to cut the sub, who is probably moving unpredictably. If he is wearing a blindfold, remove it. Turn on the lights. Being able to see provides a strong reassurance. You should speak clearly with a calm voice, explaining everything you are doing, even if it looks obvious to you, even if the sub doesn’t seem to understand. If he is having trouble breathing, you can try guiding his breathing with your voice. You should warn her before you touch her, because sudden physical contact can be alarming for somebody suffering a panic attack. If you are in a public space, try to keep people from crowding the sub. However, if there is somebody around who is intimate with the sub, bring her in, perhaps she can reassure the bottom better that you can. After all, you were the one just beating her, remember? Encourage the sub to cry, which is healing and releases tension. Once the worse part of the attack is over, when the sub can speak again, you should give him  the option of talking about it or staying quiet to process it internally. Some people need to spend time alone after they suffer a panic attack. If that’s the case, your mission is to provide a safe environment in which she is not bothered or can hurt herself. Listen for any signs of danger.

Why do panic attacks happen in scenes? A scene puts the sub in an altered state of consciousness, and he may have a good trip or a bad trip. That state is normally experienced as something nice and enriching, but sometimes it brings forth traumatic experiences that pack such a powerful emotional charge that they trigger the panic attack. We call them “emotional land mines”. Paradoxically, endorphin release can produce the “freezing” state that is often the precursor of the panic attack. Animal studies have found that endorphin release can be triggered by uncontrollable stressors, so if the sub feels that she is losing control in the scene this can trigger the panic. Yes, endorphin release is not always a good thing. It has been linked to the “learned helplessness” paradigm, a state in which the person or the animal gives up and doesn’t fight anymore. Learned helplessness causes immune suppression, cognitive disabilities and a host of other unhealthy effects.

A person who suffers panic attacks is not crazy, neurotic or traumatized. The panic attack is just the manifestation of the power that a BDSM scene has to profoundly alter the mind. If handled right, a panic attack may even be beneficial in the long run. Mobilizing negative psychological contents allows them to be processed consciously, which can be healing.

I think it’s important that everyone who practices BDSM realizes that encountering a panic attack is a real possibility and to know what to do when that happens. It is even possible to prevent the panic attack from happening if we are alert to the freezing behavior that precedes it. When we flog or tie somebody, it’s normal for him to moan, complain and squirm. What is not normal is complete immobility in the face of pain. That is a sign that something is wrong. The Top should talk to the bottom from time to time. If she doesn’t answer, you should stop and look the sub in the face to make sure that everything is all right. There are, of course, people who prefer to “go inside” and not react to pain, but they should warn the Top during the negotiation that that’s the way they function. Conversely, I don’t think is advisable that the Dominant orders or trains the sub to be still and quiet when he experiences pain. Not only that would not let us detect an imminent panic attack, but it’s even likely to provoke one.

Altered states of consciousness in BDSM

One of the most fascinating aspects of BDSM is its ability to induce altered states of consciousness. Lately this has gathered a lot of attention in FetLife.com, but unfortunately it has also generated a series of pseudoscience myths and dubious techniques to induce endorphin release and attain that coveted sub-space. In this article I want to use my experience as both a BDSM practitioner and a scientist doing research on pain neurophysiology to shed some light on all this confusion. I must start with a warning: there is practically no scientific research on the neurochemical phenomena that occur in sadomasochistic scenes. Moreover, there are reasons to think that these phenomena are quite different from ordinary pain responses, so much of what I am about to say here is speculative. However, although at the moment we are not ready to talk about what happens in the brain during a scenes, we still can use scientific evidence to debunk some of the existing myths and set the foundation for some serious research.

A great book about consciousness

What is an altered state of consciousness? Consciousness is the fact of being aware of everything that happens, both in the outside world and inside our mind. Our consciousness flows like a river of experiences that forms the story of our lives. From our subjective point of view, our consciousness is everything. Of course, objectively there is an external reality unaffected by what we make of it. What I’m pointing at is that our state of consciousness shapes and colors the events of our everyday lives. The reality that we perceive is altered by the filter of our consciousness: it disappears when we sleep and takes an exceptional intensity in situations of danger in which our brain becomes more alert to our surroundings. The quality of our consciousness determines to a great extent our capacity to be happy. This is because our consciousness is shaped by our emotional state, which is able to make our world look like hell or heavens. Since the dawn of our species, we humans have tried to alter our consciousness by consuming certain drugs or by undergoing certain extreme experiences. BDSM is an example of the second. Of course, not every BDSM activity is going to produce an altered state of consciousness, but those which do will likely leave us an unforgettable memory.

Here I want to propose a classification of altered states of consciousness that can be reached in a BDSM scene. This classification is based on my own experience, on discussions with other people that practice BDSM and on my knowledge of neuroscience.

•    Endorphin release. Endorphins are a family of almost 40 different neuropeptides that are able to activate the same receptors as morphine and other opiates. There are four opioid receptors, three named with the Greek letters mu, delta and kappa, which decrease pain, and the fourth called the nociceptin / orphanin receptor, which actually increases pain. Apart from their analgesic effect (pain inhibition), mu and delta receptors induce a sensation of well-being or euphoria. In contrast, kappa receptors produce a state of emotional distress called dysphoria. Endorphins are released into the bloodstream from the pituitary gland, but this does not produce analgesia or an altered state of consciousness because endorphins in the blood cannot cross the blood-brain barrier to have an effect on the brain. The only endorphins that can induce an altered state of consciousness are those that are released by neurons inside the brain. In addition, it should be noted that endorphins are independently released in different brain areas , so that we cannot speak of a generalized state of “endorphin release” but of multiple states depending on where they are released. In any case, we can safely say that endorphin release during a BDSM scene decreases pain and induces a feeling of calm, relaxation and even sleepiness. The submissive turns his or her attention inward, disconnecting with the surrounding environment and entering a fantasy world. Endorphin release can be triggered by gradually increasing pain intensity in an environment of emotional support in which the submissive can absorb the sensations without having to give a response. Endorphin release can be monitored as a decrease in heartbeat.

•    Nor-adrenaline release. Nor-adrenaline or nor-epinephrine is a neurotransmitter that, like the endorphins, is released by pain-controlling neural pathways and produces analgesia. I suspect that many states of decreased pain sensitivity sadomasochist scenes that are attributed to endorphins are in fact generated by nor-adrenaline. As in the case of the endorphins, we shouldn’t confuse the release of adrenaline in the blood with the release of nor-adrenaline by some specific neuronal pathways in the brain, although both things often happen at the same time. Nor-adrenaline is released when pain is coupled to fear in a situation that demands a response from the submissive. There are inhibitory connections between endorphin and nor-adrenaline pain-controlling pathways, which ensure that endorphin and nor-adrenaline release do not happen simultaneously. Although both states produce analgesia, in other things they are very dissimilar. Nor-adrenaline release produces a state of increased awareness to external stimuli, which appear more intense. The submissive cries, moves, reacts. Her heartbeat increases. Nevertheless, this state can be as euphoric and pleasant as that produced by endorphin release.

•    Sub-space. The term “sub-space” is often used indistinctively to refer to any of the altered states of consciousness described above. However, I would like to propose that ‘sub-space’ should be used only to refer to Dominance-submission scenes and not to sadomasochistic scenes, that is, to states generated by pain. I would define sub-space as a mental state in which the attention of the submissive is completely focused on the Dominant and the feelings of surrender and obedience that She or He evokes. From the point of view of neuroscience, it seems likely that sub-space is related to the release of oxytocin, a “social hormone” that induces trust and bonding. It may also involve dopamine release in the so-called “pleasure pathway” linking the ventral tegmental area of the striatum with the nucleus accumbens. The accumbens is the site of action of most drugs that produce addiction, like the opiates, cocaine, amphetamines and nicotine. Serotonin, a neurotransmitter of complex actions due to its multiplicity of receptors, could also be related to this state of calm surrender. In contrast to endorphin and nor-adrenaline release, sub-space is much more than a simple reflex response. Instead, it seems to be an emotional state in which one enters largely at will and that is subject to many variants and levels. Achieving a deep sub-space may require a period of training, building of trust and bonding between the submissive and the Dominant.

•    Top-space is not mentioned as often as sub-space, but there is little doubt that it exists and is as important for the Top as sub-space is for the submissive. One of the things that make a good Top is to be able to read the physical reactions of the bottom and deduce from them his or her mental state. Both the Top in a sadomasochist scene and the Dominant in a D/s relationship have to focus all their attention on the person they are playing with, feeling empathy and establishing a tight bond with the bottom. Therefore, Top-space probably shares many physiological features with sub-space. Perhaps in it oxytocin release is accompanied by the release of vasopressin, another social hormone that induces feelings of possession and territoriality in males. In sadomasochist scenes in which the Top inflicts a lot of pain to the bottom, a substantial release of nor-adrenaline may occur in the Top because of empathy, which probably strengthens His or Her focus and control on the scene.

•    Sub-drop. Many submissives and bottoms complain of entering a period of low energy, apathy and dysphoria after an intense BDSM scene. This may be due to a withdrawal effect to the release of euphoric neurotransmitters during the scene. However, sub-drop may have more complex causes, because on a closer examination it seem to be different states that vary from person to person. Some people never experience it, while is quite strong in others. Also, there seem to be at least two types of sub-drop, one that happens immediately after the scene and that can be addressed with aftercare and another that happens two or three days after the scene and can last several days. It is important, I think, that we do not accept sub-drop as something normal and unavoidable. Perhaps the scene has stirred some deeply buried emotions from the past that the submissive should examine. Using the information that I gave above, the submissive should consider whether the scene has involved endorphin release, nor-adrenaline release or sub-space, and how sub-drop relates to each of this mental states. Perhaps this way we can start building up information on how sub-drop relates to the different altered states of consciousness.

We should not treat the altered states of consciousness that we reach in a BDSM scene in a frivolous fashion, like BDSM was just one more drug. After all, if all we want is to get high perhaps we should just take drugs, instead of going through the painstaking process of doing a scene. I think that altered states of consciousness in BDSM are valuable because of their context, that of a profound personal relationship between the people involved in the scene. Hence, it is not so much a question of whether we release this or that neurotransmitter, but of the meaning that the scene has brought to our lives… Maybe a catharsis, maybe the surfacing of psychological issues buried in our minds for a long time and that had been released by the scene. Maybe we have encountered a part of ourselves that we didn’t know before. More and more people understand BDSM as a process of self-discovery and personal transformation that enriches our lives and contributes to make us happier and self-fulfilled.

Is it sinful to be spanked?

This is a scene from the first chapter of my novel “Games of love and pain”, which I published in Spanish and have started translating into English. The story starts in January 1976 in the southern French city of Perpignan. Cecilia and Julio had to share a hotel room in their way back to Spain during a skiing trip to the Alps. Cecilia is quite religious and prudish, but in the course of an intimate conversation with Julio they both discover that they share some peculiar sexual tastes…

The idea that started to form in her head was terrifying… in a sort of tempting, irresistible way.

“But it I like it, it doesn’t have to be so horrible.”

Her heart was beating fast. She kept gazing at the ceiling, not daring to look at Julio.

“Hey… What do you mean with all this?” said Julio, pulling at her arm to make her look at him. “Do you mean that you want me to spank you? That’s really amazing coming from you, Cecilia!”

She felt herself blush. She rolled sideways, turning her back to him so he wouldn’t see her face.

“That was stupid of me… I shouldn’t have told you anything.”

Julio grabbed her by the shoulder and shook her slightly.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be ashamed of telling me what your brother did to you. I’m so happy that you trusted me enough to tell me! I just don’t understand what you want… Before you came here with me you made me promise that I wasn’t going to touch you… And now you want me to spank you?”

“Wouldn’t you like to do it?”

“Of course I would like to do it! But I didn’t think that was a possibility. I never imagine that I would find a woman who would agree to that.”

“Well, you have found me.”

“Are you sure, Cecilia? Don’t you think it would be a sin?”

“If it hurts, if I don’t feel pleasure, how could it be a sin?”

“Look here, Cecilia, I know what you are doing. You are just going around inside your pretty head looking for excuses. I’m dying to do it, I assure you. But I promised you that tonight I wouldn’t try anything with you, so I’m not going to mislead you. Whatever you decide, you’ll have to decide by yourself, don’t tell me afterwards that I tricked you.”

It was true. Her own arguments failed to convince her. Guilt and desire fought each other inside her.

“The thing is… if we don’t do it now, it will never happen” she whined. “When we go back to Madrid I will never see you again.”

“Why not? Why shouldn’t we continue being friends? Maybe you should think about all this more calmly.”

But she knew that if she let the opportunity slip away it would never come back, for either of them. She would probably never find that husband that knew how to discipline her in a loving way. And Julio would never find another masochistic woman that would let him spank her. That made up her mind. She wanted to give him that present. She wanted to leave him with a memory as unforgettable as that evening with Laura under the poster of the Sagrada Familia.

“Just a few spanks, on my pajamas, OK?”

Julio looked at her with a mixture of excitement and fear.

“OK. If you want me to stop, you only have to tell me, got it?”

“I got it.”

She couldn’t believe what was about to happen.

Julio sat up in the middle of the bed with his back straight, leaning on a pillow and the headboard. He left his legs under the covers, pulling them up to cover his lap.

“Lay down on top of my legs” he told her.

Cecilia kneeled on the bed to his right. She hesitated, and for a moment their eyes met. Julio’s face showed desire and a certain anxiety. She wasn’t  going to chicken out now. She let herself fall across his lap. Julio’s crossed legs made her butt stick out in a rather obscene way. She felt the warmth of his body. His smell intoxicated her. Waves of excitement cruised her entire body.

Julio slapped her bottom. The thick fabric of the pajamas took all the force of the hit, so that she felt only a blunt impact, not at all painful.

“How was that?” asked Julio.

“It didn’t hurt at all. Hit me harder.”

“Let’s see…”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Julio raise his hand, which landed with force on her. But, once more, the spank had no effect at all. Julio hit her a few more times with the same result. It was utterly frustrating.

It came as a sudden, unconscious decision. She put her hands inside the waist of her pajama pants and pulled down to lower them. By the contact of the cool air with her skin she knew that her panties had bundled up, leaving most of her buttocks bare.

She heard Julio draw a deep breath.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, fearful that he would want to stop.

“Nothing… Is just… that you have such a beautiful butt… May I touch it?”

Without waiting for her answer, Julio caressed her buttocks were they were left exposed by the panties. It gave her goosebumps. The touch of Julio’s hand was soft, incredibly sensual. Too sensual.

“No, no!” she protested. “Just spank me.”

Julio’s hand went away, only to immediately fall back on her with full force. This time it cracked on her skin with a sting. Right away, Julio spanked her other cheek, where it also elicited a lively burn. At the third stroke she couldn’t avoid moving her butt to try to avoid it.

“So, not it does hurt, doesn’t it?”

“You bet!” her voice came out faltering. “Go on.”

“So you think this is rather funny, don’t you?” said Julio in a commanding and slightly mocking voice. “Look, Cecilia, you had this coming a long way. Most of the time you are a pretty good girl, but from time to time your wires get crossed and you throw some silly temper tantrums… Like the one you had today in the bus, don’t you think?”

That lecture had to be fake, to spice things up, but Julio’s voice sounded so stern that it did scare her a little. It also turned her on.

“Yes, I deserve a good punishment. Spank me hard!”

“Well, then prepare yourself. I’m going to give you something you won’t easily forget!”

To emphasize what he said, Julio grabbed her hip with one hand while with the other he gave her a series of quick slaps, alternating between her buttocks. The blows were sufficiently severe to keep her from thinking about anything else. Still, the spark of pain elicited by each slap had an undeniable pleasure quality. It merged with the perverse joy that came from the humiliating position in which Julio held her and the idea that she was being punished like a little girl. Very soon she started wiggling her bottom from side to side, up and down, as her body hopelessly tried to escape the slaps. It became an obscene dance that she performed following the rhythm that Julio marked with his spanks, like the monotone rhythm of a metronome, warning her of precisely when the next slap was going to hit her so that the stings of pain acquired the inevitability of destiny. None of them said anything; each one was completely absorbed in their task: to punish and to be punished. Cecilia only produced sighs and occasional moans… whether from pain or from pleasure, she didn’t know. The spanks did produce a loud noise that exploded on the skin of her bottom and reverberated on the walls of the room, small explosions as alarming as the blows themselves. Julio’s arm held her hip against a vertical, cylindrical bump in his belly of which she was only vaguely conscious, absorbed as she was in the conflicting emotions evoked by the spanking.

Julio stopped suddenly. He pushed her away from his lap and jumped off the bed. He ran into the bathroom, a fist tightly closed on the front of his pajama pants.

Cecilia was left laying on her belly, not even caring to pull up her pants. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears. She was shaking. The contrast between the intensity of her connection with Julio and her suddenly loneliness filled her with confusion. She felt abandoned, rejected in the middle of that intimate act to which she had abandoned herself so completely. Without knowing exactly why, she started to cry.

Coming out of the bathroom, Julio looked at her with surprise.

“You are crying! What’s wrong?”

He sauntered to the bed. He laid at her side and hugged her from behind.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you so much” he muttered.

“It’s not that…” she said with a slobbery voice from crying. “Why did you leave so suddenly?”

“Oh, that! Well… you see, it was that I… I couldn’t hold it anymore… I went into the bathroom so you wouldn’t see me.”

 Cecilia sat up, turning to look at him.

“Do you mean that you have… ejaculated?”

“Only a little bit…”

Cecilia laughed, tears still pouring out of her eyes.

“That means that you got really excited.”

“I think it was the most exciting thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“More exciting than making love to Laura?”

“Yes, even more than that.”

That made her feel proud. But immediately a crushing wave of guilt invaded her.

“Ay, Julio! What have we done!”

Endorphins and adrenaline - What science really says

The following is in response to this article
https://fetlife.com/users/2529856/posts/1968359

Which apparently was first posted here
http://friskybusinessboutique.com/news/blog/the-endorphin-levels-in-bdsm-a-short-primer-on-sending-a-submissive-into-hyperspace

Basically, the article claims that endorphins are released in discrete “loads” and that it takes the body about 10 min to replenish the load before it can release it again. Then it proposes a method in which the bottom is beaten hard at 10 min intervals to taken him or her to increasingly high endorphin “levels” until a state of stupefied bliss is achieved. It also makes some claims on how adrenaline release balances the endorphin release, and gives instructions on how to minimize adrenaline release and maximize endorphin release (which is supposed to be the goal).

There are two different issues with that article. The first one is that it claims that all this is based on science. The second issue is whether the states that it describes really can happen to a bottom during a SM scene. I will address here the first issue only. Concerning the second, there are abundant testimonies of altered states of consciousness occurring in bottoms during SM scenes. However, the physiological basis of those states of consciousness, their value and the best ways to achieve them are highly debatable.

PET images showing the areas of the brain where endorphins are released by pain: the prefrontal cortex (PFCTX), the anterior thalamus (A TH), the right anterior insula (INS), the hypothalamus (HYPO) and the amygdala (AMY). From Zubieta et al. (2001), Science 293: 311.

I am a neuroscientist who has been doing research on pain for several decades. In particular, I have been investigating endorphin release in rats. Based on my knowledge, I am going to argue that the article cited above has no scientific basis whatsoever. The issue of endorphin release is enormously complicated, so I am going to summarize here the points most relevant for this discussion.

The first thing I need to explain is the blood-brain barrier. Blood is highly toxic to neurons, so there is a barrier between the capillaries that supply the brain with oxygen and nutrients and the nervous tissue. Most substances cannot cross the blood brain barrier without the “permission” of the gate keepers cells that form it. In particular, endorphins, adrenaline and other hormones secreted into the blood do not cross the blood-brain barrier, which means that the amounts of endorphins and adrenaline in the blood have no effect whatsoever on the mind. These substances need to be released inside the brain to do anything to your mood or your consciousness.

Second, you may imagine the endorphins as forming a sort of soup that bathes the brain all over. That is completely wrong. Endorphins are released by very specific neural pathways and affect only very small brain areas. This means that the effect of the endorphins depend on where in the brain they are released. For example, endorphin release in a small area of the brain stem called the nucleus raphe magnus inhibits pain; their release in the nucleus accumbens produces a state of bliss mediated by dopamine; their release in the insula produce positive emotions, and so far and so forth.

Third, what I have been calling until now “endorphins” are really a collection of about 40 different peptides encoded by three different genes and classified into three different families: endorphins, enkephalins and dynorphins. The endorphins and enkephalins bind to mu opioid receptors and delta opioid receptors, whereas dynorphins bind to kappa opioid receptors. All three receptors produce analgesia (meaning “a decrease in pain”), but only mu and delta receptors produce euphoria (a sense of pleasure and well-being). Kappa receptors, on the contrary, produce dysphoria, a profoundly unpleasant sensation of being sick and unhappy. Therefore, not all “endorphin” release will lead to a state of bliss. Like endorphins and enkephalins, dynorphins are released by pain, particularly when is accompanied by distress. This can happen, for example, in an adverse social environment or in unpleasant situations over which we have no control.

Images showing where in the human brain endorphins decrease the unpleasantness of pain: the anterior cingulate cortex (A CING), the thalamus (THA) and the nucleus accumbens (N ACC). From Zubieta et al. (2001), Science 293: 311.

Now, going back to that post, it is not true that endorphins are released in “loads” and that it takes the body 10 min to replete the load once is released. From what I have said above you can deduct that this is an enormously naïve and simplistic view of what in reality is a tremendously complex system. The final effect on our state of consciousness and on our mood would depend on whether endorphins, enkephalins or dynorphins are released, and most important, where in the brain they are released. Since the levels of endorphins in the blood do not affect the brain, to study endorphin release we need to have a technique that would allow to detect them inside a living brain. As incredible as this may seem, it was actually done by a scientist named Jon-Kar Zubieta. Using positron emission tomography (PET), he is able to measure the binding of an opioid drug, carfentanil, to the mu opioid receptors. He published a number of papers using this technique (I list some of them at the end) that show where in the brain endorphins are released (actually, where they bind to the mu opioid receptor, displacing carfentanil) during pain or in some particular emotional states. Unfortunately, he did not study masochists being beaten into a pulp in a SM scene. There is no indication whatsoever in his studies that endorphins are released in “loads”, or that the loads need to be replenished every 10 min. This also does not agree with what we know about the mechanisms by which endorphins are synthesized and released.

What about adrenaline? Actually, the brain uses a similar compound instead, nor-adrenaline (often called nor-epinephrine or simply NE). NE does a lot of things in the brain - again, depending where it is released an which of its many receptors are activated. It is true, however, that NE released into the spinal cord inhibits pain. This is driven by a neuronal pathway that originates in several parts of the brain stem (the nuclei called A5, A7 and nucleus coeruleus) and then travels down the spinal cord. The A5, A7 and coeruleus nuclei are activated by stress in the fight/flight response, which is well-known to produce analgesia. So adrenaline can complement endorphins to reduce pain during an SM scene.

How all this applies to an SM scene is anybody’s guess. I don’t know of any scientific studies done on sadomasochists, although it would be fascinating to do them. But in view of the complexities of these systems, how much they vary from person to person and how strongly they are influenced by social interactions and the ambient, we can guess that there is no simple formula to induce the release of endorphins or adrenaline in a person. The top has to fly by the seat of his pants, read the bottom very carefully and stay on the safe side when inducing altered mind states on the bottom. We are playing with fire here, and even though things may seem to fine during a scene, nobody knows what unforeseen consequences it may have in the future.

References:
Zubieta, J. K., Y. R. Smith, et al. (2001). Regional mu opioid receptor regulation of sensory and affective dimensions of pain. Science 293(5528): 311-315.

Mason P (1999) Central mechanisms of pain modulation. Curr Opin Neurobiol 9:436-441.

Hunt SP, Mantyh PW (2001) The molecular dynamics of pain control. Nat Rev Neurosci 2:83-91.

Zubieta JK, Smith YR, Bueller JA, Xu Y, Kilbourn MR, Jewett DM, Meyer CR, Koeppe RA, Stohler CS (2002) mu-opioid receptor-mediated antinociceptive responses differ in men and women. J Neurosci 22:5100-5107.

Zubieta JK, Ketter TA, Bueller JA, Xu Y, Kilbourn MR, Young EA, Koeppe RA (2003) Regulation of human affective responses by anterior cingulate and limbic mu-opioid neurotransmission. Arch Gen Psychiatry 60:1145-1153.

Apkarian AV, Bushnell MC, Treede RD, Zubieta JK (2005) Human brain mechanisms of pain perception and regulation in health and disease. Eur J Pain 9:463-484.

Ribeiro SC, Kennedy SE, Smith YR, Stohler CS, Zubieta JK (2005) Interface of physical and emotional stress regulation through the endogenous opioid system and mu-opioid receptors. Prog Neuropsychopharmacol Biol Psychiatry 29:1264-1280.

Wager TD, Scott DJ, Zubieta JK (2007) Placebo effects on human mu-opioid activity during pain. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A 104:11056-11061.